Today if you’re a male and you’ve reproduced, you’ll probably get something for Father’s Day. I hope you didn’t receive this—a card with a built-in $5 Subway gift card.

They were the only cards left this morning at CVS, and they manage to make a necktie look thoughtful.

It might be a lousy gift, (does anyone really love Subway besides Jared Fogle?) but at $7.99 a pop it’s a genius move for Hallmark. After pushing those corny cards-with-sound, they’ve found a new way for you to spend more money.

Now when Daddy picks up a $5 Foot Long, he’ll think of you when he still has to cough up the tax.